i'd wear another skin if it meant u were okay

pupsies, enter your birthday (mm-dd):

I should probably explain myself so I will, but I want to at least try to emphasize the fact the fact that I'm not looking for forgiveness in any way, and I'd encourage you not to forgive me, because I fully understand what this might have felt like for you.

I never meant to demean or belittle you in any way. The only person that would receive screenshots of our DMs was my girlfriend. And I understand how it looks that I shared them with her, but only because I wanted to make her feel less insecure than she already does. I wanted to make it seem like I was being friends with you out of pity so she wouldn't bother me about it all the time, but in reality I could have just not mentioned that I talked to you so often, and for that, I do hate myself. But I genuinely found a way to mention you hourly to my friends because of how much I looked up to you in a vocalist and friend sense, never in a bad light. Most of my friends actually wanted to contact you to talk about making a song with you, to which I refused. I know I'm saying a lot but my point is, I never waned to make it seem like I genuinely found anything you ever did weird. I only wanted my girlfriend to not lose sleep over the fact I was friends with a female who trusted me in a close friend sense. And I don't think I can forgive myself for that. I wouldn't want you to either. I just want you to understand why I did what I did, and that you were never ever weird in my eyes. You never made me uncomfortable, and I would never bully you in the sense that others used to. I completely understand why it looks that way, but I've always defended you regularly in conversations with people like adorken & zawmbi3.

I don't think I could ever move on from being close to you if I never fully explained myself, so that's why I'm trying to now. I have you blocked on Discord, and shortly after sending this, I'll block you on Soundcloud too. Not because I never want to talk to you again, but because I'm genuinely ashamed of what light I painted myself in.

You don't have to remove any tracks we've made together, and if you ever end up using any of my beats, you're always free to do so. Anything you have uploaded or will upload you can keep 100% of as long as credit is given. I actually hope you don't remove the remix I made because I'm genuinely proud of it, but that's always up to you.

Thank you for being a good friend.

Sena